A decade back on a hot sunny afternoon in Delhi, I was travelling to my college by a DTC bus. The distance must have been about 20km and as most of the engineering students I was trying to do the last minute this question will come in the exam study while trying to maintain my balance and this conversation happened
A middle aged man: “Bhaiaya ladies seat hai, madame ko bethne do”(it’s a ladies seat why don’t you let the lady sit)
The man seating on the so called reserved ladies seat – “Kyun Bhai, waise toh inhe harek jagah equality chaiye toh yahan reservation kyun”(Why? When they fight for equality everywhere then why do they need reservation here?)
I looked at the guy he must be a college student and then interrupted the conversation saying “Rehne dijiye, mei teekh hun”(It’s okay, I don’t need it)
I moved to the corporate life,and I have been privy to a lot of conversations of the sorts
“If I work a year extra then why should be a lady who has gone for maternity leave be given the same promotion and hike.”
“If I stay up late and work, why someone should be treated equally if she leaves office at 6 just because she has kids.”
While pursuing my dream to join IIMA, I got a lot of stuff like “being a lady you stand a good chance”
And thenduring the placement season with most of the top notch investment bankers and MNC creating headlines with how they want to hire a bigger chunk of female employees. And male friends would say jokingly..”Gender change might be a good option”.
Did it feel good, after all this meant you had extra privileges being a lady? It didn't! All this just started to sound like an abuse, something like you are taking our rights away.
From where was all this coming, these men are friends and colleagues and it’s not that they are racist, they are the educated, well behaved gentlemen.
Are we, in our constant effort to create women equality, creating a society where men have started to feel insecure? Humans by nature are designed to look after themselves first. I can see men folk in board rooms who would be against a women just because they always thought women got it easy. But is this really the truth, maybe women who are there at the top of the ladder can answer it better
Can the laws, the feminist, the processes, the policies ever be able to create equality? Will in our struggle to create equality of one kind are we not creating inequality of another? In our pursuit to solve one problem are we not creating another?
People say that you celebrate women’s day because you feel something is not balanced and needs to be corrected, but how many days have we stopped celebrating over years because we thought that the issues got resolved.
Do we wish to progress in a society where people do things because they are forced to? Do men need policies to make them understand what child birth is as a process, how it feels to be a mother, how it is to manage kids and work, does it takes rules to make you them behave like a gentlemen, is courtesy a law? Women are genetically more attached to kids then men, but then is it their fault?
Women are not equal and should not be treated equally. Both genders have to appreciate the differences and both need each other as much at home as much in the board rooms. Studies have shown that for a kids growth both parents are important and so has it been shown that the presence of women helps men take better decisions and makes them risk seekers and hence more entrepreneurial in nature.
Why do women who wish to pursue career have to give up on happiness of seeing their kids grow? Why is it either this or that? Why can’t it be a AND?
In the end both men and women constitute the ecology and there has to be a balance in this system and this world has to be a happy place to live in.
In the larger scheme of things it’s not the number of women vs men CEO’s we have in this world, it’s about how many happy families have, how many less sacrifices we make, how many less people commit suicide, how many kids do not get into drugs and have a healthy childhood, how many less divorces we have. If there is something that needs to be gauged it is the Satisfaction index, after all whatever we may achieve in life if we are not satisfied at the end of day, is it all worth it ??
A middle aged man: “Bhaiaya ladies seat hai, madame ko bethne do”(it’s a ladies seat why don’t you let the lady sit)
The man seating on the so called reserved ladies seat – “Kyun Bhai, waise toh inhe harek jagah equality chaiye toh yahan reservation kyun”(Why? When they fight for equality everywhere then why do they need reservation here?)
I looked at the guy he must be a college student and then interrupted the conversation saying “Rehne dijiye, mei teekh hun”(It’s okay, I don’t need it)
I moved to the corporate life,and I have been privy to a lot of conversations of the sorts
“If I work a year extra then why should be a lady who has gone for maternity leave be given the same promotion and hike.”
“If I stay up late and work, why someone should be treated equally if she leaves office at 6 just because she has kids.”
While pursuing my dream to join IIMA, I got a lot of stuff like “being a lady you stand a good chance”
And thenduring the placement season with most of the top notch investment bankers and MNC creating headlines with how they want to hire a bigger chunk of female employees. And male friends would say jokingly..”Gender change might be a good option”.
Did it feel good, after all this meant you had extra privileges being a lady? It didn't! All this just started to sound like an abuse, something like you are taking our rights away.
From where was all this coming, these men are friends and colleagues and it’s not that they are racist, they are the educated, well behaved gentlemen.
Are we, in our constant effort to create women equality, creating a society where men have started to feel insecure? Humans by nature are designed to look after themselves first. I can see men folk in board rooms who would be against a women just because they always thought women got it easy. But is this really the truth, maybe women who are there at the top of the ladder can answer it better
Can the laws, the feminist, the processes, the policies ever be able to create equality? Will in our struggle to create equality of one kind are we not creating inequality of another? In our pursuit to solve one problem are we not creating another?
People say that you celebrate women’s day because you feel something is not balanced and needs to be corrected, but how many days have we stopped celebrating over years because we thought that the issues got resolved.
Do we wish to progress in a society where people do things because they are forced to? Do men need policies to make them understand what child birth is as a process, how it feels to be a mother, how it is to manage kids and work, does it takes rules to make you them behave like a gentlemen, is courtesy a law? Women are genetically more attached to kids then men, but then is it their fault?
Women are not equal and should not be treated equally. Both genders have to appreciate the differences and both need each other as much at home as much in the board rooms. Studies have shown that for a kids growth both parents are important and so has it been shown that the presence of women helps men take better decisions and makes them risk seekers and hence more entrepreneurial in nature.
Why do women who wish to pursue career have to give up on happiness of seeing their kids grow? Why is it either this or that? Why can’t it be a AND?
In the end both men and women constitute the ecology and there has to be a balance in this system and this world has to be a happy place to live in.
In the larger scheme of things it’s not the number of women vs men CEO’s we have in this world, it’s about how many happy families have, how many less sacrifices we make, how many less people commit suicide, how many kids do not get into drugs and have a healthy childhood, how many less divorces we have. If there is something that needs to be gauged it is the Satisfaction index, after all whatever we may achieve in life if we are not satisfied at the end of day, is it all worth it ??